hey you! i miss you a whole ton right now... but we have reason to celebrate...you know why? carnival is overrrr!!!! wahooo! haha yeesh that is probably the dumbest thing i have ever heard of...I'm glad it is over so that people can start behaving themselves :) Also, another reason to celebrate...6 weeks klay!! woot woot! this is your last transfer can you believe it?! Next transfer you will be sent home to be with your real companion ;) i feel honored. I think that Heavenly Father knows me really well. cause he is sending you home a transfer earlier. haha honestly i am to the point where I am going to have a major freak out melt down if you aren't here soon...he knew. ha I couldn't handle 12 more weeks instead of 6.
But anyways, Klay I will admit, the recordings that you made, made me sick to my stomach, I thought i was going to throw up after I listened to them. It was really hard for me to know that I had to wait for a week to talk to you about it all. Satan got to me...he made me think that I didn't deserve you and that you didn't really want me anymore. I think that is his favorite way to tear us apart...because he knows that the only way we get really upset is if we know we have made each other sad. But then I got a feeling to go read our emails from monday, and they gave me a lot of peace. I love how when something is wrong we can talk about it, and then get over it fast and just love each other. i love you, it made me sad that i made you feel so awful, i don't want to do that...ever. That was never my intention to hurt you or make you jealous. Thank you for your forgiveness.
Quote, "I don't want you to save me, I want you to stand by my side as I save myself" last week you said that you were scared I had repented for you and not for myself. I think a part of my repentance, ever since i met you has been a little bit because of you, because you give me a reason to want to repent and want to be better. But I want you to know that I repent for myself. Repenting can't happen if I sincerely don't want to change myself. All i need is for you to keep cheering me on in the process of change. This quote made me think... because I have said it, and you have said it also "you saved me" but I don't really think we did. We both had to decide for ourselves to change, we saved ourselves.. but we were there to help each other through it, and I don't think I would have saved myself without you by my side. I love your cheerleader poem, i feel honored to be your cheerleader forever. I remember being so disappointed when I didn't get to be on the cheer team for sky view, but now i see that God had something much greater in mind for me. He gave me time with you, and I wouldn't trade that for cheering for other boys ever :)
Love you! i hope i can talk to you tomorrow, if not...have a great week!
love lou
lou i am so grateful that you are understanding. i am sending a whole bunch of voice recordings of repentance. . . cuz i was overly jealous and prideful. i am sorry for over reacting. . .will you forgive me and still have me the 27th?
Lacey:
27th of june :)
Klay:
:) i am sorry for the way i acted lou. i hope you understand that when it comes to you i am like a live wire in a nitroglycerine plant . .. hehe thank you for your example to me of love. you will find out how i really feel. i feel like last week i pondered too much about the situation and reasoned too little and i am sorry for that. you love me more than anyone else i know and you show it all the time. i am sorry for my poorly chosen words and phrases. i love you.
Lacey:
Dont be sorry, you had reason to be upset! How do you feel about it now? Be honest...
Klay:
i love you. i was just extremely jealous. i just want to have an adam and eve situation ;) hehe no other guys to look at you just me
Lacey:
Haha well I dont care if other guys look at me cause you're thr one that I want..the only one :)
Klay:
:) thank you. i promise that i am reasonable lou. its just different being so far away from you. where i cant help you as much as i would. i know you havent been perfect, but nor did i expect you to be. . . you did better than me when i was left alone without my brother. i was destroyed. i would swallow myself in hypocrisy judging you and above that i love forgiving you. i have never felt so happy than after i truly forgive you. surely you have felt likewise with my problems. with that "have we not all crossed the veil?" thought. lou, i need you. i would not be okay without you. just be careful in all that you do okay? remember that satan wants to rip us apart. thats why those feelings came about. but lets show yet another that we will be together eternally. okay? even better than proving wrong the waiter hater! hehe
Lacey:
Your parents are wondering if you know anything about your travel home? I think...that we both just need to be together again :) haha it's ok klay, I forgive you for freaking out :) just love me ;)
Klay:
um the truth is that i have no clue. . .they can email the offices if they want and find out, alls i know is that i should be home in the morning wednesday i think. . . :) to repay you completely for my stupidity :) mmhmm! i think that you will like the messages. . . they are long. i couldnt sleep. hehe also we had a lot of time because of transfers cuz i didnt get a drop of sleep . . .besides an hour on a bench in a bus station. . .
Lacey:
Haha ok I will tell them, you will for sure be home wednesday?
Klay:
i am like 10% sure. . .oh! i missed a zero! 100% sure! hehe dont worry lou, i will be home for you to bring you back down to sanity as you do the same for me! :) did you already have your tests this week? thank you for all that you do for me :)
Lacey:
I have to go... I am in class and I'm not listening....self control lace. Hahaha I have my test is 30 minutes :( :( I'm freakin out. Pray for me k? I love you so much!!!!! Have a great week :)
Klay:
lou, just know that everything is all right. take it easy little one, dont make it a priority, i will always be there and my voice recordings are rehearable. . .yours too haha i listen to them every night! know that i am praying for you little girl. please just forget the dumb things i said :) delete those dumb recordings okay? they no longer count. . .:) this is me and elder purser with the fat tie that he gave me, our baptism miguel! he is a stud! that is what i wrote on the flag of elder purser for my farewell quote at our parting hehe those are the pictures that i sent. make me a priority lou yes, but do it very sneakily by working hard in school and work so that you progress and all that okay? love you little cuddle fish. i will talk to you next week. you should get a lot of letters soon! :) love you little lovely! please write a list of everything that lets you know that i love you okay? it made me happy when i did it about you! :) love you lou! june 27th!!!!! i am sure that dress is beautiful :) i will get a sneak peak! i am praying for you! good luck on your test! :)mwah!
talk to me !!!!! hehe
Lacey:
Klay! guess what!! I just walked outside to go look at the stars for the 24th (happy anniversary) and right as I looked up at the sky I saw a shooting star! coincidence? i think not! :) love you :)



